You may have seen high-conflict divorces dramatized on television or in the movies. Well, such divorces occur in real life too. These couples also have a vested interest in avoiding litigation, which can take years to resolve and drive up your legal fees. One way to avoid expensive litigation is by mediating your divorce. Now, some lawyers will say that mediation isn't for everyone. High-conflict couples are destined for litigation. But that simply isn't the truth. In fact, there are numerous strategies for mediating a high-conflict divorce. In this article, the Sacramento, CA divorce lawyers and Wagner family law will discuss strategies for achieving a fair resolution in mediation when the couple is engaged in a high-conflict divorce.

What constitutes a high-conflict divorce?

Most couples do not agree on every matter related to their divorce. However, that does not mean the divorce is high-conflict. A high-conflict divorce is governed primarily by emotion, which makes resolving the case difficult for both sides. This increases the cost and length of the divorce process.

At the beginning of the case, it is important to identify whether you are involved in a high-conflict divorce or not. If you are, then it's time to evaluate your options and determine the best course of action for a successful resolution. This ensures you have the right tools to navigate the process once it has become clear that one party has become contentious about the divorce. High-conflict divorces are characterized by hostility, disagreements, and a lack of cooperation on both sides.

Mediation and high-conflict divorce

If you're currently engaged in a high-conflict divorce, prior to initiating costly litigation, it is important to evaluate every option available to you to resolve your divorce case, including mediation. Mediation is a confidential out-of-court process that can work even for the messiest of high-conflict divorce cases. The role of mediation is to minimize conflict by involving a neutral third party. The mediator is an attorney who acts as a facilitator and attempts to resolve disputes between the couple. A skilled mediator can help both parties de-escalate emotionally charged situations and improve communication skills, which helps foster a sense of cooperation and increases the chances that a settlement will be reached.

High-conflict mediation can work regardless of the dynamics between the couple. A skilled mediator can work with difficult personalities and always be moving the case forward. In addition, a mediator can build a team of professionals around the mediation process to help successfully resolve the matter out of court. This can include hiring an individual like a parenting coordinator who will help the parents negotiate custody and visitation issues. Another expert who might be brought on is a forensic accountant. They will prepare marital balance sheets and ensure that everyone is being upfront about their finances.

Benefits of divorce mediation

One of the main benefits of mediation is the cost. A single mediator is hired jointly by both parties, which can potentially reduce the overall cost of your divorce. In a contested divorce, each party hires their own lawyer, which leads to increased costs for both sides and additional time spent in court. With mediation, both parties can:

• Have their voices heard

•  take control of the process

•  work toward the resolution of their case

•  construct agreements with more creativity and flexibility

Couples successfully mediate their divorces at a rate of 80%. That means that 80% of couples who enter into mediation resolve their divorces without going to court. The mediator's role is to assist the couple in resolving all matters related to their divorce. This includes child custody, child support, alimony (spousal support), and asset distribution. Instead of allowing a judge to make all the decisions for you, the parties can address these issues directly and craft their own agreements.

If the parties are unable to reach an agreement, the mediator can then enlist the help of neutral professionals who provide independent information to assist each spouse in making reasonable decisions that are consistent with those the court might make.

For example, if the parties are bickering over financial issues, the mediator could bring in a forensic accountant who will help the couple review their information and report on issues such as income available for support, separate and marital property, and business valuations. The forensic accountant will issue a report that will assess the financial positions of each party and help reach an agreement for support, the division of assets, and child support.

Strategies for mediating high-conflict divorces

• Utilize a highly structured mediation model -  you want to choose a mediator who has a highly structured mediation process. You can ask the mediator what type of process they use when facilitating a high-conflict couple. You will want to find a mediator who has the skills and experience to deal with high-conflict cases. At Wagner Family Law, we gravitate toward high-conflict cases.

• Premediation coaching can help -  your mediator may provide premediation coaching. It is important to take advantage of this since the success of the mediation process often increases when both sides know what to expect. Negotiating with a high-conflict couple tends to be more successful when both sides understand how the mediation process works and anticipate the fact that they'll have to have difficult discussions.

• Caucus sessions - mediation is not the time to let your emotions run wild and vent your frustrations concerning the divorce at your former partner. A caucus is an individual meeting with the mediator. It can be a helpful way to blow off steam and regain your composure when you're having difficulty in mediation sessions.

• Don't talk about mediation between sessions - high-conflict couples will benefit from not talking about mediation proceedings outside of mediation. You and your spouse should agree never to discuss matters related to your divorce outside of the mediation process. This will reduce hostility and ensure that a third party can oversee the process of negotiating your divorce settlement.

Talk to a Sacramento CA high-conflict mediation lawyer today

Wagner Family Law represents the interests of Sacramento couples in high-conflict mediation. Call our office today to schedule an appointment and we can begin discussing your next steps right away.